When Things Go Bad

Children, are not angels. They are miniature people without “filters” of what’s appropriate (that most, not all people gain as they age). The lack of filters is compounded upon the fact that their brains aren’t fully developed, and they are very “ego centric”. Not to be confused with egotistical, ego centric means that they have a hard time seeing beyond their own immediate world. They can’t fully comprehend other people’s perspectives or that other people aren’t immediately seeing and feeling what they are feeling.

My favorite example of the “ego centric” mindset is from when I was little. I would get a cut on my arm, and of course it hurt. But I was so sure that my mom didn’t believe me… and while she was putting the band-aid on, I held my arm up into her face.
“But mom, it hurts!”
“I know sweetie.”
“No mom, feel it! Feel it!”
I wanted her to touch my cut, and feel the pain I was feeling… Heh.

These are part of the reasons why children get in trouble. They don’t have the right and wrong filter, and they can’t see very far past their own nose. Very rarely are they just intentionally malicious. Even then, I’m convinced most maliciousness is the result of self-preservation. Well, what do you do when they misbehave? Especially when they’re not your own child and it has to be within certain boundaries? Here’s a list of various disciplinary options.

5. Sit Down and Put Your Head Down

This one only works with certain kids and certain groups. For some kids it is mortifying to be called out in front of all the others and then forced to sit away from them. This worked with my fifth grade girls who hated to be made to sit away from each other and the rest of the group, silently. Especially since they all had crushes on various boys within the group. However, not so effective with a kindergarten or first grader… their attention span is so short and they are incapable of taking the punishment seriously. Usually they just end up giggling or something.

4. Write It Out

One of the most volatile group of kids I had, was a group of third graders. Their personalities were all just extremely different, none of them were good friends, and some of them truly hated each other. I left them alone for five minutes once, to go talk to another teacher… and when I was walking back to the room I heard one of the boys actually screaming at three girls. In the end I took three of the girls, and had them write 50 times: “I will keep my hands to myself at all times.” They weren’t happy in the end, but neither was I.

3. Laps.

There was a summer when the kids just couldn’t behave. They couldn’t get quiet when it was time to get quiet, and were constantly complaining. Well, our summers are very active and so… After two straight weeks of being frustrated, we as a team that if they couldn’t get quiet… then as a group they were going to go outside and run laps. Three. Sweaty, grouchy children who got quiet the next time the lights were dimmed.

2. Walk.

One of the biggest problems with kids, is that they run indoors. Yelling “Walk!” only goes so far, and they’re really good at ignoring the sound of an authoritative voice… So. Whenever I see a kid running across the room or the building, I send them all the way back to the start and make them walk it nice and slow. Once, I made a boy walk back and forth across a room three times, because I’d caught him running twice already that day.

1. Computer Time.

The best part of the day for 95% of the kids at the Learning Center is computer time. And the number one threat is: “I’m going to take away five (or ten) minutes of your computer time.” Occasionally, a particularly bad kid can lose his computer time for the rest of the day. But, they don’t get to do anything else… They have to sit at the table in the middle of the room with their head down and listen to the other kids talk about whatever it is they’re doing on the computer.

Do you have any options that you love to use? At home or elsewhere? What have you found absolutely does not work?